Examination of how an FDRP would ensure that their mediation was “child focused” in approach.

Child focused FDR is a process of facilitated dispute resolution focused on finding the child’s voice in the absence of the child[1]. The process enlists the cooperation of the parents/parties by attempting to re-establish and maintain a secure emotional base for the child[2]. This is done by supporting parents to consider the individual needs of each of their child/ren, in essence, directing their brain from being two parties separating, or adults, to being parent minded[3]. This in turn encourages the parties to strive for a “higher ground” in their post separation relationship[4].

This is a more traditional approach to mediation. However, prior to determining which strategies to implement, it is important for an FDRP to assess the parental suitably. Suitability is assessed by parental capacity to represent themselves, not by their emotional readiness[5].  Parental capacity is assessed by parental “presence” for the child. This means their ability to experience, hold and regulate their own emotions as well as their ability to differentiate and support their child’s emotions and needs outside of their own[6].

In the assessment, an FDRP may ask the parents for information about the child, including attributes, personality, and concerns as well as needs[7]. This process takes traditional mediation techniques in a practical sense. To appropriately assess, the FDRP may watch for emotional reactions, observe, and monitor power imbalances and watch for congruence or common ground between the parties[8].

If deemed appropriate, there are a variety of skills and strategies that can be implemented by the FDRP. It is important to note that each mediation is different and there is no rule about what skills and strategies to use, that is, there is no one size fits all approach. It is essential that the FDRP maintain their skills and continue to develop over time. Continual improvement of skills and keeping updated on social sciences is essential to best serving the parties and being able to properly ensure that the best interests of the child are being considered as paramount during the mediation process.

Some of these skills include rapport building with the parties, excellent communication skills and good negotiation skills and knowledge[9].

It is also important to note that it is important to commence the child focused approach during intake. This highlights the importance of intake overall as it can set up the mediation in a positive way.

During the mediation itself, the FDRP should provide education and “advice” so that parents can incorporate social science considerations in their own decision-making processes. For example, an FDRP may present research about impacts of separation of children[10] and parental conflict and explain attachment and psychological and developmental needs and advise on appropriate care arrangements that may best suit the child’s best interests[11].

As a more broad and general approach, the FDRP can provide subtle or not so subtle reminders of the children, for example, using the children’s names at every opportunity as well as pose appropriate questions that reflect a respectful curiosity about the children. Types of questions may include how the parties may think that their child/ren are thinking or feeling about different situations/circumstances[12]. In addition, the FDRP may frame the agenda around the children and co-parenting needs or concerns[13].

In addition to skills that an FDRP can implement, there are strategies which are commonly used by FDRPs to ensure that the mediation is child focused. Whilst the list is extensive, some items that may more frequently be utilised include acknowledgement of common ground (in a child focused manner), reality testing the needs of the child/ren, normalise the needs of the child/ren, future focus the relationship between the parties so that it becomes a parental relationship, encourage and support the child focused efforts and reassure parents that their child/ren will “thank them” for their child focused efforts[14].

It is important to again highlight that each mediation is different and an FDRP ought to continue with their ongoing development and research to ensure that they are able to implement the skills and strategies appropriately. If child focused strategies are appropriately applied, positive outcomes can be achieved by parties that would consider the best interests of the child as paramount.

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[1] McIntosh, Jennifer, ‘Enduring Conflict in Parental Separation: Pathways of Impact on Child Development’ (2003) Journal of Family Studies, vol 9, No1, pp63-80.

[2] College of Law, Module 3: Needs-based decision making, children’s best interest and post separation parenting  arrangements, 2023, FDR2 M03 notes 2018_12_18, <https://warehouse.collaw.edu.au/file/9fef254b-48c7-4238-b115-ac0a07967994/3/FDR2%20M03%20notes%202018_12_18.pdf&gt;, at 5 May 2023.

[3] College of Law, above n2.  

[4]College of Law, above n2. 

[5] College of Law, above n2. 

[6] College of Law, above n2.   

[7] College of Law, above n2. 

[8] College of Law, above n2.    

[9] College of Law, above n2.

[10] Jennifer E McIntosh and Caroline M Long, ‘Children Beyond Dispute: A Four Year Follow Up Study of Outcomes from Child Focused and Child Inclusive Post-separation Family Dispute Resolution’ (2009) AFRC No 1.

[11] College of Law, above n2.

[12]College of Law, above n2. 

[13] College of Law, above n2. 

[14] College of Law, above n2.